Understanding Anxiety: Taking Control of What You Can and Letting Go of What You Can't
- Anton Rademan
- Feb 14
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 14
Anxiety can feel like a heavy burden that weighs down our daily lives, often surfacing during times of uncertainty. Many people face the pressures of personal challenges and work demands, experiencing anxiety that can sometimes feel all-consuming. However, understanding the difference between what we can control and what we cannot is crucial for managing these feelings. This guide will outline a practical approach to help you take charge of your responses, learn to accept uncontrollable factors, and ultimately find effective strategies for managing anxiety.
In this discussion, we will focus on three essential questions to deepen our understanding of anxiety and promote well-being:
Is it true? (Is it a fact or a story?)
What is in my control and what do I need to accept?
What can I do about it?
Is It True? (Is It a Fact or a Story?)
A vital step in combating anxiety is examining the thoughts that create unease in your mind. When you face anxious moments, ask yourself: "Is this thought true?"
This question serves as a grounding technique that helps you distinguish between reality and the stories your mind may create. Often, the thoughts that trigger anxiety can be based on exaggerated fears rather than factual events.
For example, consider someone preparing for a presentation at work who thinks, "What if I mess up and everyone laughs at me?" To challenge this thought, one can ask: Is this a fact? Reflect on past presentations where you succeeded or recall times when you received positive feedback. According to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health, around 70% of people have experienced anxiety related to public speaking. It’s common, and remembering that can help put things in perspective.
By consciously deciding to reframe these thoughts, you lay the groundwork for better anxiety management.
What Is in My Control and What Do I Need to Accept?
The next important step is to pinpoint what you can control. This includes your reactions, choices, and behaviors. When you identify aspects you can change, you can focus your energy on actions that lead to positive outcomes.
For instance, if you dread social gatherings, consider preparing yourself by practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing or positive visualization. A study published in the journal "Psychological Science" found that individuals who practiced such techniques reported a 25% reduction in anxiety levels.
On the other hand, recognize the factors outside your control—like other people's actions or unexpected life changes. Accepting these realities allows you to free up mental space, promoting a more peaceful mindset. Accepting what you cannot control is not about surrendering; it’s about making room for emotional growth and self-care.
What Can I Do About It?
After identifying what you can control and what is beyond your influence, you can formulate actionable steps for managing anxiety. Here are several practical suggestions:
Practice Mindfulness: Focus on the present and recognize your feelings without judgment. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce anxiety by up to 30%. Techniques include meditation, breathing exercises, or maintaining a gratitude journal.
Establish a Routine: A structured daily schedule can provide comfort and predictability. Allocate time for activities that support relaxation, like exercise or pursuing hobbies. According to the American Psychological Association, exercise can decrease anxiety levels by stimulating endorphin release, improving mood for up to 24 hours after a workout.
Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or professionals when anxiety feels overwhelming. A conversation can offer clarity and emotional relief, shown by studies that indicate that sharing feelings can lower stress levels significantly.
Use Positive Affirmations: Shift negative self-talk by using affirmations that reinforce your strengths. Simple phrases like "I am capable," or "I can handle this" can build confidence and improve your outlook.
Stay Informed: Understanding anxiety and its triggers empowers you. Research shows that individuals who engage in learning about their condition can better manage their symptoms, often reporting a 40% increase in coping strategies.

Your Path to Wellness
Navigating anxiety is a personal journey of discovery. Learning to control what you can while letting go of the rest is essential for emotional health. By breaking down your thoughts, focusing on controllables, and taking actionable steps, you can use your energy more effectively.
Remember, experiencing anxiety is common and doesn’t define you. Choosing to seek understanding and comfort highlights your commitment to self-care.
With time and practice, you can create a balance between acceptance and action that fosters mental health and overall well-being. Start with small, manageable steps, and gradually adapt your strategies to fit your unique circumstances. Together, we can create a healthier space to navigate the complexities of anxiety.
Comments